American culture places monogamy on a pedestal, which causes people engaged in polyamorous and consensual non-monogamy relationships to feel ostracized, judged, and devalued. Polyamory counseling with a counselor who is aware of the monogamous bias in society and who will offer valuable relationship skills without fear of judgment can help you to thrive in your poly life. Polyamory has multiple relationship structures with no “one size fits all” approach. The bias towards monogamy assumes that polyamorous relationships cannot be as fulfilling, secure, or caring as monogamous relationships. There are also assumptions made about raising children within polyamorous relationships that are inaccurate. Finding a counselor who does not support those biases is crucial to feeling heard and validated in your lifestyle. Polyamory counseling can help you to communicate more effectively, connect with your partners, help define your relationship values and boundaries, and lead to a more fulfilling life.

• Hierarchical Polyamory - A primary relationship exists, such as a marriage, couple, or long-term partnership that are placed at a level of higher importance than other relationship. The couple can have additional partners, but the primary relationship takes precedence. Open communication, healthy expression of jealousy, and connection are key.

• Relationship Anarchy - Multiple relationships without specific boundaries on rules of engagement, which are seen to be too limiting. Each relationship is unique and will ideally develop organically without impairment from other relationships

• Kitchen Table Poly - A relationship ideal in which all partners could comfortably sit at a kitchen table together without drama or animosity.

• Swinging - A type of non-monogamy that typically consists of a primary couple seeking sexual contact with others, depending on the boundaries the couple prioritizes. There is typically less of an emotional or loving connection, but instead emphasizes physical connection and potentially friendship. Options range from parallel play to soft swap to full swap with agreed-upon rules from the couple and participants.

• Throuple/Triad - Typically consists of three partners who all have sexual and/or romantic relationships with each other

There are many more types of relationships labels that could best describe your values and needs. But there might also not be a label to define you and your relationship, which is perfectly okay too!

Seeking polyamory counseling can help you:

• Better define boundaries and relationship goals

• Openly discuss and process jealousy

• Improve communication between your partner or partners

• Process feelings of low self-esteem, lack of connection, and feeling “not enough”

• Practice self-advocacy to get your needs met in relationships

Our Colorado Springs polyamory counselor is ready to help you re-build your relationship. Get started with polyamory counseling today to feel understood and free from judgment. Process your relationships and your needs in an empathetic counseling space to better identify your relationship boundaries, communication needs, and feelings.