“Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and poor communication.” - Harriet B. Braiker
Couples Counseling in Colorado Springs
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Couples Counseling for Conflict
There is often pride taken by couples who say “We never fight!” Also, there are couples who seem to only know how to fight. Both can be signs of a troubled relationship. Avoiding conflict can be a sign of emotional detachment or a fear of talking about difficult things, while constant fighting is a sign that couples do not know how to fight effectively. In both cases, the important question for couples to ask is: “How can we make our fights better?” The goal in conflict work in couples counseling is not to resolve conflicts and pick a winner. It is to communicate more clearly, understand each other better, and see each other with more empathy. 69% of all couples conflicts are not resolvable. They come down to personality and values differences. Conflicts are unavoidable, but a better relationship can be yours with the appropriate skills.
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Most Common Couples Conflicts
Sex - “We don’t have sex enough. When we have sex, it is not good.” Lack of frequency desired, sexual needs not being met, different sexual interests (i.e. one partner interested in kink and the other is not)
Children - differing values in raising children, whether or not to have children, responsibilities once a child is born
Money - financial goals, splitting of finances, saving vs. spending, budgeting, stress when income is low
Jealousy - the threat of other partners, co-workers, friends, etc.
Family - in-laws, siblings, relatives, and level of inclusion in partner’s family
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How Can Couples Counseling Help?
Couples counseling can help you improve your conflicts by:
Making conflicts less intense
Providing a safe space to talk about difficult topics
Teach couples communication skills to change how you fight
Explore uncovered relationship patterns that help you better understand your relationship
Understand your partner more deeply
Improve your connection to reduce the frequency of fights
Start couples counseling today to have more effective conflicts with your partner. Change your fights to prevent repeating the same fights over and over again. Get started today for a healthier relationship!